Lazy days make me feel completely unproductive. I consider myself a lazy person, in that I try to find the fastest, easiest way to get something done, but not doing anything really feels… lazy and unproductive.

One of my challenges the last few years is learning to take time for myself, and to do things that recreate and heal. I find taking a half a day to go to the mountains and write really helps the most. Exploring new places in the mountains also helps- it is a fun exercise for me.

I’ve struggled since having a family to do that- there was a time in my single life I would be found out on some trail somewhere taking pictures and just being still. Getting married and having kids made me feel that was a selfish thing to do, and so stopped doing it- that was time that was needed for the family. A few years ago I had my “mid-life crisis,” which necessitated me making some changes to my life and how I handled stress.

We’ve found that by my taking a half day to just go up and explore, or to write (I’m working on my autobiography, for healing myself not to sell) helps a lot. I don’t do this often, maybe once a month, and I find it the most beneficial thing I can do for myself.

We (my wife and I) found that we really like the theory of the Enneagram. I’m a 17- meaning a nine with a very strong 8 wing, and that means my vice is sloth- I will fall asleep to my pain, and will try to drown it out by all means necessary. I’ll also avoid the important tasks until they are so important I HAVE to do them. Taking care of myself is one of those tasks. Facing that reality, and learning how to put my own needs and wants first is one of those challenges I’ve been learning to overcome.

I want to be careful in saying that- I think a lot of people would read that last statement and think “I’m always putting others first- I deserve______.” I’m very good at finding ways to take care of myself, but those are not always healthy. Learning how to truly heal has been one of the best things I’ve done for myself.

So it may look like I’m always on the go, doing something, but in reality that’s my recreation- literally how I re-create myself. Just sitting on the couch, watching a movie, doesn’t do it for me.